Friday, September 11, 2009


What a strange world we live in! Standing in line at the grocery store today, the clerk asked me when I was due. When I told her, she responded, "Oh my goodness! Are you dilated yet?"

How do you respond to that one? "I'm a 9 and about to drop this baby on your floor. Do you mind?" One of the things that I enjoy most about the nurse-midwives I see is that the state of my cervix is considered personal information. It's not standard procedure to repeatedly subject their patients to an uncomfortable and invasive exam: you only have to be checked if you want to be.

Last week a misinformed and slightly obnoxious nurse insisted that I undress for my appointment since I was 39 weeks along. (Fortunately, I was supplied with a drape, unlike in France...) My girls were with me, so it was definitely awkward explaining to them why Mommy was taking her pants off. To make matters worse, the midwife happened to be accompanied by a medical student who looked like he was going to pass out from embarrassment. Fortunately, this midwife (who happens to be a man) asked me if I really wanted to be checked. When I told him "absolutely not," he responded with the following words of wisdom: "Don't ever take your clothes off just because somebody tells you to."

In French, the word for midwife is "sagefemme," which literally means wise woman. Fortunately, there are some wise men in this world too.


candice said...

So, when i was pregnant with Eden and HUGE, we went to Trader Joes. Now i love TJ's but i have to admit that some of the check-out people, though nice, are a bit odd, having said that, i get up to the counter and of course the man smiles as he looks me up and down. He asks me the normal, "when are you due" bit. Then he asks me the weirdest question ever, "If *it* had a penis". I was really quite shocked by the phrasing of this question. Is it a boy, is it a girl followed by oohs and ahhs i could handle, but throw the word penis into there and you've just created a very awkward situation. to say the least i tried my hardest to be natural, like i got that everyday type of thing, and was so thankful to answer, "no, it is a girl". Who knows what the next line of questioning would have been had i said yes! Bah, people are so strange!

As far as nurses go, they can really make or break an appt. One nurse glares (at least that is what it feels like) at me in 'concern' every time she takes my weight, then she always says, as if on cue, after taking my bloodpressure--- "well at least your pressure is good". ummm, thanks.

Megan Ficek said...

Personally, I would have LOVED to overhear a conversation where you told some stranger that you were dilated to 9 and about to drop the baby on the floor. Would have made me smile all day.

Jackie said...

Oh don't you just love what people will say at this stage in your pregnancy? I just love how someone decided to describe the state/shape/position of my belly down the hallway in church yesterday in very non-hushed tones. Oh joy!