Monday, April 13, 2009

To Know or Not to Know

So I'm losing my resolve... Up until recently, I was very committed to not finding out the sex of our baby-to-be until the big D-Day. Jason and I were both excited about saving the surprise until that last magical moment when they announce (drumroll please...) "It's a _______! (You fill in the blank.)

Lately, however, I've been feeling rather tugged to schedule an appointment with the ultrasound technician. We were going to save a bit of expense and skip sonogram #2, but lately I'm torn. Here's why:

1) I miss our baby. That may sound silly, but lately I've had a hard time feeling like this pregnancy is "real." I want to see our little one again, hear its heart beat, and oogle over the kicking arms and legs. During the first trimester, the baby made its presence known constantly, thanks to morning sickness. Now that I'm feeling much better, it's easy to completely forget that I'm pregnant at all. I'm still in that awkward borderline stage of "is it fat or is she pregnant?" and I only feel the baby move slightly and very occasionally. Even our girls seem to have forgotten about the new visitor that will invade their home shortly: Brooklyn no longer blesses the "baby in Mommy's belly" at every mealtime prayer.

2) I want to share the ultrasound experience with Jason. Gentleman that he is, he was on childcare duty during sneak peek #1. This baby is just as much his as mine, however. I'd like to give Dad a chance to bond a bit more with this little one before it comes to stay for good.

3) To be completely honest, from the mother's perspective, the most magical words at the moment of birth aren't "it's a boy" or "it's a girl," but simply, "it's out." I'm not sure that I was able to completely appreciate the surprise when Talia came so quickly. My most poignant memory goes something like this: "Wow. That hurt."

4) (And this reason is the most embarrassing...) The baby clothes are so cute! I went to a friend's baby shower last week and positively drooled over all of the teeny tiny onesies and bibs with cute sayings written in French. Despite my tough talk about not needing anything, deep inside, there's a part of me that still wants to go shopping for a few fun things. And, lets face it, green and yellow aren't quite as cute as blue or pink.

And so now, I'm turning the question over to all of you. When it comes to gender, is it better to know or not to know? Click on the poll to the right to let us know your opinion.

10 comments:

Tanja said...

I think that you should get to know the gender? / sex of your new family member ... this way you can give the baby a name to call already ... not just "the baby in Mom's belly" ... :)
... and it will give friends and family time - to buy some baby shower gifts either in pink or blue :)

Jessica Bybee said...

I think it is just as much of a surprise at the ultra sound as it is at birth! Plus then can prepare--- names for us are hard to come up with so I like the extra time to narrow down.

Anonymous said...

Well, I've already named each of my three gestating grand babies "Jasper." ... I think that would be a fine name for a boy, or the variant "Jasperine" may work well for a little girl ... so you no longer need to worry about naming issues (?). However, I suspect an Omaha grand mother would be happy to know #3's gender in advance. However, if its a boy, please give me at least 24 hours advance notice so I can freeze our credit cards, checking, and retirement accounts. Keep smiling!

Mrs. M said...

I like finding out because it makes that little one, as you say, more real. Plus, it makes the preparations more real, too. Hmm, where will we put a girl? Ooh, a boy - let's stack him with the others? As for the element of surprise, there's always the chance that they'll tell you it's a girl and you'll end up with a modest boy who had his legs crossed during the ultrasound:)

Ivy said...

Everyone always tells me that anticipating the arrival of child #2, #3, etc. are just as exciting as #1...and you convey that so sincerely through this post. Whether you decide to "find out," or not, I hope you continue to enjoy this special time!

Crys said...

If you feel like you want to find out I think you should find out :) I understand the dilemma though. They offered me another ultrasound for 32 weeks. I'm pretty sure I'm going to turn it down just because the temptation would be to great :)

Brittney Richards said...

I am all in for the element of surprise. Besides that, I like yellow and green a lot better than pink and blue. Girls can wear blue too, but boys can't wear pink. The risk you run with green and yellow are people commenting on what a cute girl or boy you have when in fact it is the opposite.
I say...find out when baby #3 is born.!

Kristin said...

I have never been much for the suspense of waiting. Actually, on the fifth I thought we ought to try the surprise route for a change, but I was promptly outvoted by husband and children. I was easily swayed.

I like knowing for preparation sake, both physical and mental.

I have never been a fan of yellow or green for babies, unless it is gender obvious (like a dress) and super cute. Let's face it, most baby faces could go either way, and there isn't enough hair to tell. I am all about dressing them in gender specific clothes from the beginning just to make it apparent. Shocking how often people miss the telltale signs though...

Anyway...Best of luck in deciding what would be best for you!

Megan Ficek said...

I'm with you. I knew a mom once who said, "How could you want to know the sex of the baby ahead of time? It will ruin the whole experience when the baby is delivered!" I'm sorry, WHAT? Like you would say, "Yeah, a girl, I already knew that, I'm bored with you now."
:)

Connie said...

Oh--I absolutely think it helps to know the gender. It's just as exciting at the ultra-sound as at the birth. Plus, as an experienced parent of four daughters, I know I didn't care if we had more girls or a boy, but sometimes that well-meaning old lady in church needs a little time to get used to the idea of "another" girl before she says something in front of that new baby's innocent ears. haha