Halloween Month, Plus Pontifications on Parenthood

Gah!  Every year it's the same story.  The holidays arrive with all their magnificent chaos, I get ridiculously behind on the blog and getting started again is pure drudgery.  This year was a little extra special given my intense course load and hosting both Thanksgiving and Christmas.  All of this translates into being extra backlogged.  I mean, Halloween was great and all, but who really wants to write about it in January?  

I guess I do.  But before I start, I thought I'd share a bit of humor.  This past week I've been working like crazy on applications to nursing school.  When they asked me to write about service, I decided to go all in and share my adventures in parenthood.

While unconventional, I’d like to conclude with my service as a mother.  Over the past seventeen years, I have conceived five children, lost one to miscarriage, and carried the rest full-term, nourishing them literally with my own body.  I have delivered babies in the hospital after long hours of labor, on the hospital doorstep (practically) after a quick labor, and even in my own home.  As proof, I occasionally pee when I sneeze.

I have fed these babes with milk I made, sharing both a maternal bond and the pain of thrush.  I have changed countless diapers, cleaned numberless messes, and marched through the house doing a “potty parade” for those who successfully deposit in the toilet.  I have nursed these children through everything from spiking fevers and strange rashes to tonsillectomies and broken bones.  I have been peed on, pooped on, and puked on, with extra goobers thrown in for fun.

I’ve both cried and celebrated sending my children off to kindergarten.  I have relived the magic of life in all its stages—first word, first step, first time riding a bike. I have known the joy of a child whose world expands as she learns how to read.  I have known deep sorrow wiping tears from a child who’s been ditched by her best friend and just can’t understand why.

These days the conversations are bigger—first period, first car, a new driver’s license.  No more diapers, although the laundry doesn’t seem to change.  Just don’t get me started on all the meals.  I shuttle to baseball, play practice, frisbee, scouts, and dance.  When it comes to music lessons, I even take notes, occasionally filling in as accompanist.  After flailing through pandemic home school, I thank the good Lord for amazing teachers who do a far better job than I.  And yes, I still bribe the kids to get everyone to smile for the family picture.

I never think of it as service.  I’m a Mom.  It’s who I am.  It’s what I do.  Yet if there is anyone in this world besides a parent who can appreciate the collective import of all the small details required to raise these tiny babies into marvelous, engaging human beings, I think it’s a nurse.

And now, back to Halloween.  After getting some free tickets to Kuwahara Pumpkin Patch, we met up with Brianna and Ruby for some Halloween fun.

I think Annika and Ruby loved the dance party most.

At age 12, Eli's in a bit of an awkward stage where it's hard to know if you are too old for Halloween.  (The answer is no--you're never too old!)  I appreciated his being a good sport--it was a fun evening.

As for our ward Halloween party, we had a lovely celebration in the Worsleys backyard.  Here's Brooklyn helping to set up.

A little rain couldn't stop us from having a great time.  While you can't see all the faces in this picture, we have Melanie Powell, Joyce Bennett, Larry Montgomery, Alex Cortes, Dave Kubinski, Elaine and Chuck Clark, Judith and David Nielsen, and the back of Brooke Kubinski's head.  (Throwing all those names out there now because it's so easy to forget.)

Here I am hanging out with the Aubri Harmon and her adorable daughters.  Aubri's husband Mark manned the grill for us all.

Denver and Nicole Smith chatting with Kelsey and Duncan Hartt.

Hard to tell beneath the mask, but here's Tanni  Bowers helping Annika get some hot chocolate.

Brooklyn invited her friends and they came!  :)  Here we have Chantal, Jasmina, and Chantal's mom Lydia.  

Can't forget the Blackham family (Brian and Sonja) plus Robyn Christensen.  Oh, I adore these people!

All in all, it was a great celebration and wonderful to get together as a ward after so many months of distancing.  I'm just sad that case counts are so out of control once more (more than 9500 new cases in Utah yesterday.)  Like many, I long to associate freely without calculating the risk.

Speaking of associations, these guys are the best!  Our neighbors Brian and Rachel Richins make living on our block such a delight.  Here we are celebrating Isaac and Ashton's fifth birthday.

It's time to blast off with this zipline rocket ship cupcake.  

Tuck in, gentleman!  How amazing to be born with a built-in best friend.

The Richins' youngest Liam is sure growing.

As for Annika, she was thrilled to drive a car while holding Tundra, the Greene family's adorable pup.

Other fun from the Richins' backyard--they hosted a pumpkin carving party.  It was amazing!  I'm so glad, because I really don't think I would have gotten around to carving pumpkins at my house.

Plus, check out the Richins family Halloween costumes.  Super Mario never looked so fabulous!

Crossing over between Halloween and Christmas, this is the crew that awaited Eli at the orthodontist on Halloween.

As for Brooklyn, Talia, and Jason, they all joined in the costume fun while playing Ultimate at the Halloween Hat Tourney.

Talia designed and made her own fabulous costume.  Anybody recognize it?

This cutie was Lady Loki.  All she's missing is the cape (which is really my fault, because I never took her to buy fabric.

Okay, this is totally unrelated, but while looking for this picture I just learned that Sylvie's costume was specifically designed to allow her to breastfeed or pump between takes.  That's pretty cool!

Moving on to school celebrations, Wasatch Elementary hosts a pretty epic Halloween carnival each year.  As you can imagine, my kids are particularly excited about the cotton candy.  My dad said it looks like dryer lint.  He's not wrong.

In case you are wondering about Annika's costume, she wanted to be Dizzy Tremaine from Descendants

At Emerson Elementary, they celebrate el Dia de los Muertos.  This year may have been different due to Covid, but the burritos were still great.  

At West High, Brooklyn's A'Capella Choir had a great Halloween concert with their choir conductor, Ms. Hernandez, dressing up as Bette Midler from Hocus Pocus.  (Not pictured here, unfortunately.) 

West High Seminary also hosted a fun trunk-or-treat.

I feel like Annika's costume begs for explanation.  Long story short, someone gave her a giant stuffed bear, so she did surgery to turn it into the ultimate fuzzy costume.  I created eye holes using an empty toilet paper roll (classy, I know.)   Her outfit certainly turned heads!

Talia was all in favor because she how has a huge beanbag full of stuffing to use for her crochet projects.

Since I was too busy to do much else in terms of decoration at home, Annika took over and started adorning the place.  There were even tissue paper ghosts hanging from the ceiling.

Annika's Brownie Girl Scout troop took a fun trip to the BOOtanical Gardens at Red Butte.

This year's theme was all about Fairy Tales, ranging from Alice in Wonderland to Cinderealla.

Okay, nearly done.  At last Halloween weekend arrived.  In truth, I'd really wanted to go down to Capitol Reef to see the changing leaves, but I knew the kids would be disappointed if they couldn't get together with friends and Trick-or-Treat.  So as a compromise, we stayed in Salt Lake and I made Annika and Eli come hiking with me while Jason, Brooklyn, and Talia were at the Halloween Hat Ultimate Frisbee Tourney.  We had fun!

Even if it was snowy.  And muddy.  And slippery.

Evidence of a couple muddy falls.

We try to leave everything in nature where we found it, but sometimes it's hard, right Eli?

Last but not least, a call out to our lovely Avenues neighborhood.  This year Halloween fell on a Sunday so I wasn't comfortable letting the kids trick or treat out of respect for the Sabbath.  While I tried to hide it, I felt pretty disappointed since last year's Halloween was all messed up due to the pandemic.  In the end, our neighborhood surprised me by pulling out the lights, candy, and decorations on the 30th as well.  I really didn't expect this since we don't have that many children in the Avenues, few members of the Church of Jesus Christ, and far fewer that actively participate.  Even so, the neighborhood came to life and children were welcomed on doorsteps on both Saturday and Sunday.  In the Avenues, it's all about inclusivity.  It was nice to realize this inclusivity extends to LDS church members as well.

Heading out to Trick or Treat in style.  Both Annie and Eli found it a bit hard to see.  Can't imagine why.

Finishing up the day with chili, cinnamon rolls, and love from our favorite next door canines.  Many thanks to Kurt, Finn and Murphy for adding the crowning touch to our Halloween festivities.

Now on to Thanksgiving!  With a little luck, maybe I can get caught up before Valentine's Day arrives.

A Little Bit of This, A Little Bit of That

Happy Cyber-Monday!  I don't know about the rest of you, but I unwittingly blew my budget today.  You can bargain shop your way into bankruptcy with all these deals. I'm sure grateful someone in the family works hard to pay the bills.

Speaking of which, here are some pictures that Jason took while hard at work designing for ZenniHome.  Zenni may require odd work hours in order to coordinate with the manufacturers in China, but the team is creating some pretty unique housing options.  Pictured here is Bob Worsley, founding CEO of Zenni.

Here we have Christy, Bob's wife.

Stephen James: friend, neighbor, and designer.

Hard at work exploring this modular housing, cardstock style.

Moving on to Daybreak, a planned housing community that Stephen has been instrumental in shaping over the years.  Jason's parents joined the tour.  As mayor of Hyde Park, Charles likewise has a great opportunity to influence the future growth of their city.

 

As for the city of Salt Lake, I hope we are able to come up with some long-term solutions for sustainable recreation in our canyons.  I absolutely love hiking and skiing, but it makes me sad when the trails are ultra-crowded or traffic is backed up for miles.  On the other hand, if you can slip away on a weekday in October, it feels like you have the canyon to yourself.  Here are Jason and I hiking up Millcreek for a few hours one morning.

Fall really is my favorite season.

How happy to hike with my hubby!

Moving on, here are some photos of Brooklyn and Talia playing Ultimate Frisbee.  These girls worked so hard this season!  They played hard and had great attitudes, no matter whether their team was winning or losing.  They also demonstrated strong leadership as captain and spirit captain.  I couldn't be more proud of their commitment, sportsmanship, and progress.

Love you cute gals!  Even your stinky cleats.

Gratitude Message

 Today in church I had the opportunity to speak on Thanksgiving.  Speaking in front of a congregation is always nerve-wracking and I rarely feel adequate to the task.  At the same time, I always feel blessed by the spiritual preparation that goes into sharing a message. 

I thought I'd share my remarks here since I believe we are all blessed by gratitude, no matter our faith.  Mostly, I want to express my gratitude for each of you.  As far as I know, this blog isn't widely spread.  If you are reading this, please know that you matter to me and are loved.  Thank you!

***

Happy post-Thanksgiving!  I hope you all survived the turkey coma.  I’m taking a physiology class at the moment where we’ve been studying all sorts of fascinating neurotransmitters.  Turns out that tryptophan is a precursor to both serotonin (think happy) and melatonin (think sleepy.)   While it’s debatable as to whether or not the turkey is actually responsible, I hope you enjoyed a pleasant Thanksgiving nap.  And since my talk today is about gratitude, may I add that the more I learn about our amazing physical bodies, the more grateful I am for all these blessings I never knew existed: everything from microscopic neurotransmitters and their receptors to the tiny pumps that move ions and keep balance in our bodies.  Mostly, I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the complexity of life and our supreme Creator.

While holidays are wonderful, they can be stressful as well.  Earlier this week, I was feeling rather anxious about getting the house ready to host a large dinner.  Truth to be told, the spirit of Thanksgiving was far from my heart.  When Annika rounded up everyone in the family to participate in an “activity” she had designed, I was not particularly excited.  I felt I had so many other things that I needed to do and this was not at the top of the list.

As she rounded us all into the living room, we each found a craft station on the floor complete with our own paper, scissors, marker, and glue stick.  She then proceeded to teach us all how to draw a Thanksgiving turkey.  I brought mine along.  I think my artistic talent is legendary.   As we constructed out turkeys, we  were instructed to write something that we were grateful for on each feather.  Unable to narrow my options, I instead chose five favorite letters and started to fill each feather with words that started with this letter.  Before long, the whole family was busy helping me think of more words to fill my feathers.  I will forever cherish this bonding memory of us all chiming in with words both funny and serious, all representing things we were grateful for.  Under “P” we have Prayer and Prophets right alongside Plumbing and PortaPotties.  Even better, we kept thinking of new words all evening until we literally couldn’t squish them in anymore.  The next morning I woke up and exclaimed, “I forgot Peanut Butter!”  (Not only is it yummy, but Jason and I have a think about Peanut Butter and Jelly, reaching far enough back that that’s what you will find inscribed on the inside of our wedding rings.)  An attitude of gratitude had filled our home.

Instead of being a nuisance, Annika’s thankful turkeys softened my heart and brought the spirit.  We ended up proudly displaying our turkeys on the fireplace mantle, directly beneath a picture of the Savior. 

 I think it’s fitting that this physical display of gratitude literally draws our eyes to Him.  This sums up the first of five points:

1.  Gratitude softens our hearts, invites the Spirit, and turns us to the Savior.

2.  Gratitude allows us to spend time with the Savior.

One of the most well-known Biblical stories of gratitude comes from Luke 17 where Christ heals the ten lepers.

11 And it came to pass, as he went to Jerusalem, that he passed through the midst of Samaria and Galilee.
12 And as he entered into a certain village, there met him ten men that were lepers, which stood afar off:
13 And they lifted up their voices, and said, Jesus, Master, have mercy on us.
14 And when he saw them, he said unto them, Go shew yourselves unto the priests. And it came to pass, that, as they went, they were cleansed.
15 And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, and with a loud voice glorified God,
16 And fell down on his face at his feet, giving him thanks: and he was a Samaritan.

As I pondered this story this week, I was struck by how gratitude brought this leper, a Samaritan despised and outcast by the Jews, literally closer to Christ.  Unlike his brethren, who were being obedient, this Samaritan’s heart was turned to the Savior.  He turned back to Christ and gave thanks.  I imagine a tearful embrace, where this leper, despised and outcast for possibly years, a person who no one dared even touch, is clean and literally lifted up and into the arms of his Savior.

It is such a tender moment.  It was gratitude that gave allowed this healed man to linger a bit longer with the Lord.  I believe that if we wish to share a similar moment with Jesus, nothing will open our hearts like sincere gratitude. 

3.  Gratitude helps us to follow the example of our Savior.   Jesus Christ, Creator of our world, Savior of our souls, was grateful.  He gave thanks for the loaves and fishes before he fed the multitude.  He thanked God for hearing his prayer when raising Lazarus from the dead.  When Christ bowed his head with his disciples at the Last Supper, He gave thanks.

If I may, I would love to unpack these examples a little more.  During his earthly ministry, Christ does not express the most gratitude when his life was easy or physical blessings abundant.  I don’t know if he ever had much to be grateful for by worldly standards.  “The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head.” 

Rather, Christ sets the example for showing gratitude not for our fortunate circumstances, but as Elder Uchtdorf terms it, in all circumstances.  When Christ gave thanks at the Last Supper, he knew he would be betrayed that night and crucified the next day.  He was hours away from taking all our sins and pains upon him in the Garden of Gethsemane in what Elder Maxwell terms the “Awful Arithmetic of the Atonement” that would cause him to bleed from every pore.  And yet he gave thanks.

Before raising Lazarus, Jesus wept.  He loved Lazarus, Mary, and Martha.  Even though he knew the eternal outcome, he felt the sisters’ sorrow and disappointment, albeit short-sighted that he was absent in the hour they desired him most.  “If thou hadst been here.”  Still Jesus gave thanks.

The five loaves and two small fishes were ridiculously insufficient to feed a multiple of five thousand.  Yet instead of dwelling on the scarcity, Christ gave thanks.  Gratitude came independent of the miracle. 

 

Quoting Elder Uchtdorf, “When we are grateful to God in our circumstances, we can experience gentle peace in the midst of tribulation…In the cold of bitter sorrow, we can experience the closeness and warmth of heaven’s embrace.  We sometimes think that being grateful is what we do after our problems are solved, but how terribly shortsighted that is. How much of life do we miss by waiting to see the rainbow before thanking God that there is rain?”

4.  Gratitude shows obedience to and love for the Savior.

In the end, I think it’s important to remember that gratitude is more than just polite nicety: it is a commandment.  In 1 Thessalonians we read, “In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.  In Doctrine and Covenants 57 we learn that “in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things, and obey not his commandments.”  In moments when my heart is soft and filled with gratitude, I find that not only am I immediately blessed with peace for keeping this commandment, but I am filled with a greater desire to keep all my covenants.  Gratitude enables me to “always remember Him,”  “him who has created you from beginning, and is preserving you from day to day, by lending you breath, that ye may live and move and do according to your own will, and even supporting you from one moment to another” (Mosiah 2:21).  Through gratitude, we show obedience; through gratitude, we show love.

5.  Gratitude Helps us Become Like the Savior

I believe the main reason God commands our gratitude is not because he desires throngs of praise; no, he wants us to be grateful because thankfulness transfoms us.  God’s work and glory is to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of mankind (Moses 1:39).  Gratitude helps us become the kind of men and women that we want to be with for eternity.  Listen to the promises of our latter-day prophets:

“When you walk with gratitude, you do not walk with arrogance and conceit and egotism, you walk with a spirit of thanksgiving that is becoming to you and will bless your lives.”³

                      --President Gordon B. Hinckley

“We can lift ourselves and others as well when we refuse to remain in the realm of negative thought and cultivate within our hearts an attitude of gratitude. If ingratitude be numbered among the serious sins, then gratitude takes its place among the noblest of virtues.”

                      --President Thomas S. Monson

“No matter our situation, showing gratitude for our privileges is a fast-acting and long-lasting spiritual prescription.”

                      --President Russell M. Nelson

“How blessed we are if we recognize God’s handiwork in the marvelous tapestry of life. Gratitude to our Father in Heaven broadens our perception and clears our vision. It inspires humility and fosters empathy toward our fellowmen and all of God’s creation. Gratitude is a catalyst to all Christlike attributes! A thankful heart is the parent of all virtues.”      

                      --President Uchtdorf

 

So to Recap these Five Points:  Gratitude Turns us to the Savior, Allows us to Spend Time with Him, Helps us Follow His Example, Shows Obedience and Love for Him, and Helps us Become Like Him.

 

But how?  In moments of stress or anger, gratitude does not come naturally for me.  I am painfully quick to forget.  Aldous Huxley once wrote, “Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted.”

 

While I know I should be grateful in all circumstances, it can be difficult to soften my frustrated or jealous heart.  For me, keeping a gratitude journal helps.  I've learned to pray and ask for divine help to feel more gratitude.  When I can’t find my own words, it helps to sing someone else’s.  Music is a tremendous power for softening hearts and inviting the spirit.

 

For the Beauty of the Earth, For the Beauty of the Skies,

For the Love which from our birth over and around us Lies,

Lord of all, to Thee we raise, This, our hymn of Grateful Praise.

 

We can spend time in nature.  I have a very poignant memory of taking a mountain hike by myself and arriving at this beautiful solitary lake.  My heart was filled with gratitude for the abundance of this world and I broke out into song:

3 When through the woods, and forest glades I wander,
And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees.
When I look down, from lofty mountain grandeur
And see the brook, and feel the gentle breeze 

Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee, 

How Great Thou Art, How Great Thou Art.

 

Finally, my very favorite: Come, thou Fount of Every Blessing.  This hymn is such a tender proclamation, inviting the Lord to come and teach us to  the songs of praise, changing our very hearts. 

 

Come, thou Fount of every blessing, tune my heart to sing thy grace;

streams of mercy, never ceasing, call for songs of loudest praise. 

Teach me some melodious sonnet, sung by flaming tongues above. 

Praise the mount, I’m fixed upon it.  Mount of thy redeeming love.

O to grace how great a debtor daily I'm constrained to be!
Let thy goodness like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to thee
Prone to wander Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love
Here's my heart, O take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above.

Here's my heart, O take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above.

***

Once again, I am grateful for you all.  Happy Thanksgiving.