Sliding to the Bottom

About a month ago I posted about how I was on my way to the Top of Utah. (Or at least on my way to the Top of Utah Marathon). Little did I suspect that we would actually be headed straight for the bottom of the state with our move to St. George.

And so, it's time for a course correction. After a lot of contemplation, I've decided to push back this marathon. It simply isn't the right time for our family. When I first started running, I really needed some time to myself. Now that I am teaching ESL three-quarter time for the summer, I want more time with my family--not less. I feel like I'm gone too much during the week as it is. When Saturday mornings roll around, I want to be at home making waffles with my girls--not sweltering in the humidity.

I still enjoy running. I feel strong and invigorated as I train, improve, and progress. Up to a certain point, long runs relax me. The stress and worry melt away as the miles tick past. Recently, however, the Saturday long runs have started to induce stress rather than dissipate it. Fifteen miles--can I really make it that far? What about next week when it's sixteen? And how will I ever survive the twenty mile, 3.5 hour training run? That's longer than a block of church...

At this moment in my life, I don't want additional stress. Buying a home, starting a new job, and moving our family across the nation is plenty of excitement. I want to run for the joy of it--not because my training schedule says I ought to. I want running to become a permanent lifestyle change for me--not just a sixteen-week push. St. George has some positively magnificent trails; I look forward to logging many miles there while I am fresh and invigorated--not weary and burnt-out.

And so, even though it smarts my pride slightly to back out, I'm shifting my focus away from Top of Utah 2010. I still want to run a marathon, so you might find me at Top of Utah 2011, or perhaps even the St. George marathon. When it comes to distance, 26.2 miles will certainly be the peak of my running career. It's okay if I don't conquer the top right away. I'm looking forward to working my way up from the bottom.

So, just for amusement, I've decided to include a few of the short texts I've posted about my workouts on dailymile.com. I think they really capture the ups and downs of running.

After running barely under 3 miles in just over 24 minutes (really quick for me.)

I wish there were an icon that could say that I felt both "great" and "blah." Today's run was fast, difficult, and empowering. I knew that I was running much quicker than usual, and doubted my ability to keep it up. Yet every moment that I didn't quit, I felt amazed at how strong I have become. I also learned that when running on a summer's night, one really ought to keep one's mouth shut. I'm certain that I inhaled a bug.

The next day... (5.7 miles)

If yesterday's run was the epitome of empowering, today's boiling hot run was the epitome of awful. Worst ever. Seriously. Don't even want to write about it. The only positive is that I didn't cave in and shorten my route...by much. Here's hoping for a cooler run tomorrow.

Nigh unto Nine miles

A much better run today. Hallelujah! I was just about to throw in the towel and consider myself done in by the summer heat. I ran earlier in the morning and chose a shady route. Despite being stiff and sore to begin with, I loosened up and enjoyed my trek through campus, Crystal Lake, and back.

Running in Vegas--4.5 miles

A 5:30 am run in Las Vegas. I went the wrong way from the hotel and discovered a neighborhood that was definitely hoppin'--with those who had yet to go to bed. A couple of catcalls, and I promptly turned right around and enjoyed a nice run amongst the palm trees in a business park. It was amazing how little I sweat, despite the heat. Three cheers for low humidity!

Snow Canyon in St. George--8 miles

I've been dreading running in hot St. George, but it was actually fabulous! Eli, Jason, and I really enjoyed ourselves as we wove our way this gorgeous canyon. The temperature was really quite nice in the shade, too. Now I'm dreading going back to an Illinois clime!

Well, I guess Illinois's heat and humidity really was the kiss of death for my marathon plan, but as far as running in general goes, I'm not beat yet! :)