Monday, August 17, 2009

We'll Be So Glad When Daddy Comes Home

I miss this man!

Who else would spend his free time photographing his shoe...

Or building rock sculptures...

Or having more fun than his kids horsing around on the jungle gym?

It's now been more than ten days since we parted, with just less than a week left to go. While I'm really grateful for all of the hard work that Jason's doing (and trust me, he's working hard), I'll be even happier to have him back safe at home. Jason is such an involved Dad that life with him around is much easier. But the truth is that despite all he does around the house, that's not really what I miss. What I miss is him, a best friend to talk to, confide in, and beg to rub an achy back.

On the positive side, this past week with the girls has been wonderful. At first, I had serious fears and doubts as to whether or not I could handle parenting all by myself for this long. After all, I rely on Jason so much. In the end, however, it's been a wonderful experience to have nothing to focus on but the girls. They are growing up so much, and it's fun! Crafts, cooking, real conversations--we get to engage on a whole new level. The kids have thrived in a stable environment of positive attention, responding with positive cooperation that lets us do so many more fun things. Trips to the library, park, pool, even the grocery store, can be delightful when you aren't living in constant fear of a meltdown.

As much as I am enjoying life with my grown-up girls, I am simultaneously feeling nervous and hesitant about adding a newborn to the mix. At the moment, things feel manageable and in balance--dare I even say "easy?" I have two hands and two kids to hold them when crossing the street. But how will I manage a third? Will I lose the freedom to get out and "do things" with the girls once their brother arrives? Am I really ready to move back into the world of diaper blowouts, midnight feedings, and heavy car seat carriers?

The truth is that ready or not, here Baby comes. While I'm sure that there will be many challenging moments, I am also sure that Heavenly Father will make room in my heart for two men in my life. And whenever the panic strikes, I remind myself that with a little bit of luck, maybe he'll turn out just like his Dad. :)


Tanja said...

I am happy to know that the time 'we' invested in 2002 in order to convince you to go on a second (or was it the first) date with Jason was not wasted.
'we' =
Ups - what an awful hair cut I had :)

tweedlediva said...

Kara, we need to bring your teepee back now that you guys are back in town. Let me know a good time, and I'll have Matt bring it over.

Jason said...

To the most beautiful woman I've been blessed to have in my life, thanks for such a kind post. And here's to diaper blowouts and sleepless nights!

chou said...

When you get overwhelmed, please send us one to play with. :)