To Camp or Not to Camp

Top Ten Reasons NOT to Go Camping:

10. Ticks, ticks, ticks! Ticks were the featured guest at our Memorial Day campout at Nebraska's Indian Cave State Park. They were everywhere. We were infested. We removed thirteen of them after arriving home, not to mention all of the ones we got rid of while camping. We had ticks on our backs, ticks in our beds, ticks in our hair, ticks in our armpits, even in our ears! Eewww! (Not to mention Lyme disease…)

9. Ants. I noticed Talia picking something off the ground and went over to get a closer look. She was eating the ant hill, critters and all!

8. Wind. Lots of wind. Jason and I spent a terrifying wide-eyed night listening to the wind whip through the trees, trying to fend off imaginations of being lifted off the ground by a tornado. In the morning we discovered that the wind had actually collapsed my parents’ tent! The amazing thing is that the girls (who rarely sleep through the night) snored through the entire affair.

7. Thunder and lightning. Like the wind, they don’t make for peaceful sleeping.

6. Wet shoes. As long as the tent doesn’t leak, I don’t mind the rain when camping—I find the sound very soothing. However, I hate putting on soggy shoes that slosh in the morning.

5. Showers. Unlike some previous camping trips, we opted for the luxury campsite this time with flushing toilets and a couple of showers nearby. While it was nice to clean up a bit before church on Sunday, showering was still less than ideal. The two-inch cockroach that wheedled its way into our towels was bad, but personally I found the giant hairball in the drain to be much worse. The highlight came when buck-naked Brooklyn suddenly decided to streak out of the bathroom complex, leaving my mother and me (also undressed and struggling with a naked-hiney Talia) at a complete loss as to how to chase after her. Grandpa Kay finally intercepted the streaker, but not until after she had entertained the entire campground.

4. Coons. Jason and I were awakened once more at 2:30 am by the sound of raccoons fighting over our food. While we managed to rescue most of our grub to the safety of our mini-van, the hamburger and hotdog buns were coon casualties.

3. Mud. We bravely embarked on what we expected would be a family hike. In all actuality, we ended up slopping our way through a two-mile mudslide. I still can’t figure out how we managed to stay vertical!

2. Tangles. Under the best of conditions, trying to get a brush through Brooklyn’s hair is a serious undertaking, but after a day of camping, it’s downright impossible.

1. Unpacking. As anyone who’s ever camped well-knows, packing is a pain. You’re exhausted before you even get there! But in my opinion, unpacking is even worse. There’s so much dirt and grime that absolutely everything has to be washed and scoured, whether it was used, worn, or not. Even so, the smoke-smell inevitably lingers for days. We just hope the ticks won’t…

Top Ten Reasons You MUST Go Camping:

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I know that camping can be unpleasant and inconvenient, even grimy and nasty at times. Yet even with all its flaws, I LOVE camping. Nothing in the world replaces the warmth of sitting around a campfire late at night roasting marshmallows, or the crisp, cool air and smell of dew early in the morning. I’m proud to be part of a dying breed of tenters who eschew the gravel and electric lights of RV camps. No, give me a tarp and a patch of dirt somewhere far away from civilization where no one can complain about my lack of deodorant. Keep your electric stoves—all I want is a match, some kindling, and occasionally half-a-can of lighter fluid. Fine cuisine is great,with all its panache and ganache, but nothing in the world matches a baked apple that’s been roasting in the coals all afternoon. No matter how many reasons there may be to not go camping, you can still count me in.