Christmas Eve in New York

Sometimes I have deep thoughts that need a lot of words to process. Sometimes I have a light heart that craves a ton of pictures to capture the happy memories.

It's Christmas 2025!  Expect a lot of photos.

For the past year, Annika has been limited to a four-hour driving radius of Salt Lake City. When her December cath came back rejection-free, she was cleared to travel father. Yay! Our whole family took off for New York to be with extended family.  And yes, I mean our whole Utah family--6 Wheelers, 4 Wilhoits, 2 Andruses, 1 pug, plus a partridge in a pear tree.

Okay,maybe no partridge, but we did have adorable reindeer gift bags to gift to the flight attendants and pilots, courtesy of NomiAnn.

Our flight left at 6am, meaning that we had to get up crazy early to be at the airport shuttle by four. Talia looks shocked by the idea.

As for NomiAnn, she was just delighted to be back with her Brooklyn. As are we all!

Remember those gift bags for the flight crew? Well, the pilot was SO delighted that he invited Anders and Eila back into the cockpit to take a photo. Talk about a once-in-a-lifetime experience. What a lovely Christmas surprise!

Transferring in O'Hare. Feels like Home Alone!

We had a bit of time before catching our next flight so the kids entertained themselves by stealing Papa Kay's hat and decorating his hair.

Leaving Chicago. While now named the Willis Tower, the Sears Tower will always be iconic in my mind. I have fun memories of traveling to the observation deck when company came to visit.

Equally stunning views landing in New York as we flew into LaGuardia.

The Big Apple never looked more beautiful.

We took our time to enjoy the newly remodeled airport on our way out.

The water show is particularly mesmerizing.

All in all, our flights were amazingly uneventful. 12 people flying into New York through Chicago on Christmas Eve without a single flight delay or lost item of luggage. In fact, they even recovered Annika's wolf sweater after it got left on board. Yes, we love New York!

To get our giant group of 12 back to Long Island, Alesia came in her Prius, Janet drove her mini-van, plus my folks rented a car. The mini-van's transmission threatened to give out, but fortunately the traffic on the Long Island Expressway was so slow that Janet made the entire drive in a low gear without issue. Plus, Eli figured out a way to manually gear the van up and down when needed. Hooray for engineers!

Pulling up to Woodbine Avenue was magical. Santa's sleigh and a couple of reindeer were even waiting on the roof.

Once inside, there were treasures waiting around every corner.

Check out Dobby in the doll house. I'm hoping there are some socks in that package.

To quote Brooklyn, this bear is a legend.

Of course, the snowman family that my Mom sewed years ago might be even more beloved.

Having set up his own elaborate Christmas village, Papa Kay appreciated the craftsmanship that went into the villages here.

Here's Alesia explaining the concept of a wood-burning stove to Anders.

She also made gingerbread cookies for everyone to decorate.

Meanwhile, Annika left personalized treats for all of Santa's reindeer.

The very best surprises were the beautiful hand-crafted shirts that Alesia designed for every family member. It even includes the plastic snowman that Jay dumpster-picked to annoy my father! Uniquely marvelous.

I've always wanted matching Christmas jammies! I never thought they'd be this amazing.

 

Alesia even made a matching bowtie for Zion. Thank you, Alesia!

But wait! Can't forget that December 24th is also Adam's birthday. When you think about it, Christmas Eve really is a giant birthday party. Thanks for making it even more fun, Adam!

And thanks to the Wells family for the delicious ice cream cake!

The telling of the Nativity story, a few carols around the piano, and we were all tuckered out. Dream sweetly of sugar plums, Brooklyn! Gents, best put those phones away and hop in bed or Santa might put you on the naughty list. Papa Kay particularly needed the rest after his challenging sleep study and nights without a C-pap. Good news is he's slept much better here on Long Island.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Be Near Me

 Happy Winter Solstice! It's December 21st, a day to cozy up by the fireplace with a mug of hot chocolate, finding contentment in the dark.  I draw comfort in knowing that from here the days will gradually grow brighter.

Over the past couple of weeks I've struggled to feel inner peace and contentment.  All of the anniversaries have hit harder than I anticipated. Joining Eli at his robotics competition on December 13th, I kept thinking about how I couldn't be there last year because Annika was in surgery having her heart replaced. I wondered what it was like for him in 2024, fiddling with robots like the world was normal, even as his little sister was being kept alive by a heart-lung machine. This year was so different as she came to support Eli (his robot won!), literally running laps around the school when she got bored.

I had a similar experience yesterday when I went to pick up a prescription at Primary Children's. It was a Saturday morning and I could see two families gathered around tables in the lobby. I could sense that emotions were heightened at one of the tables where the mother was absent-mindedly fidgeting with her necklace, her mind lost in deep thought. I instantly recalled the December Saturday where we waited for Annika's heart at that same table in that same lobby. Stranded between the floor and the ICU, we gathered there and waited and paced and prayed. I wanted to hug that Mom and tell her that everything will be okay. But in truth, how can we know? If you step back and look with a long-enough lens, everything will indeed be all right. But here and now, there is sorrow and struggle aplenty.

For Annika's December 14th "heartiversary" we collected rocks from the foothills and decorated them with colorful pictures and messages. It's not a lot, but we wanted to share the love of her donor and their family in some small way. I hope the rocks make someone happy. Even if not, collecting and painting them has been therapeutic. In fact, yesterday I gathered more stones so that we can continue the tradition in remembrance all year round.

Each time I light a candle I think of Annika's donor. This time of year, our home has been FULL of candles. I acquired a new Advent wreath for our family, and my favorite time of day is in the evening when I light the candles, turn on the Christmas tree, dim the lights, and just take a moment to reflect.

There is so very much to think about. I reflect on the joy I felt the morning after Brooklyn came home when we all gathered at the dining room table and there were no empty chairs. My eyes filled with tears as our family finally felt complete and whole. My heart overflowed with joy, even as it remembered so many other families who are mourning empty chairs this Christmas season. Hearts are miraculous organs; those four little chambers hold love and light and life and loss all at the same time,

Faith carries me through these times. I am grateful for the assurance that we can be reunited after this life; in heaven there will be no empty chairs nor broken hearts. This season I am reflecting more fervently on Jesus Christ as my Savior and Redeemer.  In Away in a Manger we sing, "Be near me, Lord Jesus." But in The Chosen, it is Jesus who pleads with his disciples as he enters the Garden of Gethsemane: "Be Near Me." Be near me, O Kara, I ask you to stay close by me forever, and love me, I pray.  "And my free spirit cried, I will."

More than anything else, I believe Jesus wants us to come to him and accept his gift, as so beautifully encouraged in this year's Christmas devotional.  This language "accept" feels particularly poignant in the context of transplant. When someone is listed for transplant, they may "receive an offer" of an organ. The transplant team then evaluates the heart to determine if it is a good match, considering size, health of the heart, health of the individual, risk factors, age, blood type, antibodies, etc. If the match seems favorable, the team will "accept” but it's challenging for all those stars to align. We know that Annika's transplant team turned down multiple offers before accepting her current heart. It's a good match, but like any transplant, it's not perfect.

Jesus Christ's offering is perfect. His heart is without flaw, and he has already died so that we may live. Will we accept his gift? He is the Light of the World, bringing hope in the very darkest of seasons. The rock of salvation, he is ever present with arms outstretched to comfort us in moments when we are scared or discouraged or anxious or alone. He wants us to look unto him and live. But when I pray "Be near me, Lord Jesus," it is I who must rise and draw close.

First Annual Cath

I want to put together a coherent post, but my brain is so fuzzy and tired right now.  It's only been a week since I last posted, but EVERYTHING has happened.  Brooklyn's missionary homecoming (yay!), her homecoming talk in church, Jason's work party with ASSIST, multiple concerts, friend and family celebrations, Eli's robotics competition, Annika's heartiversary, and now today Annika's heart cath and biopsy.

Being back here at Primary Children's in December feels both familiar and strange. Yesterday marks a year since Annika's transplant. As we've been moving through pre-op, recovery and post-op, the nurses keep reporting that Annika is here for her "yearly cath."  Being a tween, I think most assume that she has had multiple. While it's true that we've had our fair share of cath procedures over the past year, this annual check-up is still a first for us and feels like a big deal. In truth, listening to other heart transplant families, no matter how many years it has been, every cath feels weighty. This is where you get an in-depth look at the health of the transplanted heart. How are the coronary arteries functioning? Any signs of rejection? What do labs reveal about the health of the other organs?

Overall, the news seems positive. Annika's coronary arteries look great. Rejection can cause narrowing or hardening of these arteries, but hers look beautiful. It's pretty fascinating to do a side-by-side visual comparison see how they perfuse compared with six months ago. Her left coronary arteries are dominant--far more extensive and robust than the arteries on the right side, but both sides seem to be doing a great job providing circulation to the heart itself. The wedge pressures in her pulmonary arteries are on the high side (16/17) but they haven't changed significantly since her last cath, so the team doesn't seem particularly concerned.

Looking at her labs her white blood cell count is low (this is expected given the immuno-suppressants), but not more than usual. Magnesium is also still low, despite the fact that we've been doing oral supplements. I was surprised to see that her hematocrit/hemoglobin/red blood cell counts are significantly lower than last time. Her blood glucose is also high and her protein low. It will be interesting to see if her team has anything to say about any of these tests. Given the number of medications that she is on, it's common for labs to flag as "abnormal" but still be within an acceptable range for transplant. Either way, I'm hoping to focus on quality nutrition at home with more healthy whole foods and less refined sugar. Oh, and DEFINITELY better hydration. Annika is not great about drinking water. She's especially hesitant since starting Lasix a few months ago, and it's reflected in her kidney labs. Her BUN popped slightly above range at 20 with this lab draw. Her cystatin C and Protein/Creatine Ratio are also high, all of which which concerns me. I'd really like to keep those kidneys happy.

Okay, enough nerdy medical stuff. I'll keep you updated if we learn anything significant.

In the meantime, how about the funny stuff? Despite having to report to Primary's at 5:45 am, Annika woke up extremely happy and chipper. She arrived with a smile and her two dragons, Toothless and Chloe. She also came equipped with printed lyrics to Your Idol from K-Pop Demon Hunters to pass out to the cath lab team. She was quite insistent that her anesthesiologist sing to her as she drift off to sleep and told everyone her plan. Fortunately Dr. Christensen and Dr. Mary Hunt Martin were great sports. She trotted off into the cath lab with a huge smile, and when Jason peeked in on her, she was literally standing on the table as she adjusted positions. What a hoot! This kid is a riot. The stories everyone must tell...

Waking up from anesthesia is less fun, but thanks to Sprite and slushies, she now feels up to eating her chicken linguini. I'm so grateful that Primary Children's is a space where she feels safe and cared for. Her cardiology team just stopped by and gave us the two thumbs up to go home!  We will continue to have follow-up appointments every three months, but with a little luck we won't be back in cath lab until December 2027. We are so grateful to her donor and everyone who helps keep her special heart beating. 

So much Joy! Gozo

My heart is full!  This is the last e-mail we will get from Brooklyn while she is a missionary in Spain. She loves the people there so much, and from these photos it's pretty clear that they adore her too.

48 hours, Buttermilk.  Just know that so many on this side of the pond can't wait to see you too.  We love you!

***

Week 72: Gozo

Well folks, here we are! If you're one of the people who has been here for the whole 72 weeks, you still probably won't remember that my first ever word of the week was gozo, or joy. At the end of my mission, that's still what it's all about.

I know that Jesus Christ lives. I know that thanks to His sacrifice, it is possible for every single one of us to be forgiven and to feel not just transitory pleasure or happiness, but genuine, eternal joy. I know that the key to accessing that joy and redemptive power is making and keeping sacred covenants with God by the power of His authority. I know that this pursuit of a personal relationship with Christ gives life meaning, and that it is accelerated by the consistent and sincere study of the Book of Mormon. Christ is my savior, my mediator, and my reedemer, and His work of the gathering of Israel is the most important thing happening on earth right now. I invite every one of you to look to Him, because with Him we don't need to fear.

With love, signing off,

Hermana Wheeler

No-Drama December

 In looking at the calendar, most people recall birthdays and holidays and anniversaries.  Thanks to Annika's heart story, Jason and I recall so many more dates, especially during December.

December 1, 2023: Annika's Make-a-Wish. 

December 2, 2024: Annika is admitted to Primary Children's to wait for a heart.

December 3, 2024: A formal letter from UNOS informs us Annika's status on the waiting list is 1A

December 12, 2024: We receive "the call."

December 14, 2024: Heart Transplant

December 15, 2023: Annika's ICD is replaced.

December 17, 2024: Emergency bedside surgery to reopen Annika's chest to stop bleeding

December 23, 2022: Annika's initial cardiac arrest and crash onto ECMO.  

December 28, 2024: Annika comes home from the hospital with her new heart.

January 4, 2023: Annika's first ICD is placed.

January 7, 2023: Annika comes home and we celebrate Second Christmas

January 18, 2024: Blip #2 

July 3, 2023: LifeFlight to Primary Children's

November 20, 2024: Blip #3.  Three strikes and you're out--we are readmitted to Primary Children's.

Sometimes it's strange to realize all we don't know.  As we left for Annika's Make-a-Wish in Hawaii, I never would have imagined that she would be in the hospital waiting for a heart a year and a day later.  When they replaced Annika's ICD, I had no idea that it would save her life twice before being removed 364 days later following her transplant.

In many ways, I'm grateful for the unknown.  Oblivious to what's coming, I usually can set worry aside and live life to the fullest.  However given our recent history, I'll be relieved when we make it through the month of December without any drama.

Ringing in the Season: the Festival of Trees, Christkindlmarkt, and North Pole Express

Ack! Stress! I don't know how everyone else feels, but for me December is moving too dang fast!  Except for Brooklyn coming home, of course. Then I can't wait. But even that feels complex. We haven't seen each other for eighteen months! A year and a half feels like it should be plenty of time to prepare, but instead of coming back to her cozy basement room, thanks to the flood she will be sleeping on a couch or an air mattress.  All I want is to make the home feel lovely for her, but it's just not working out that way.

Stressful as it all is, I'm trying hard to honor the holiday and accept whatever challenges come with grace.  After all, we've done harder.

Yesterday I took the day to do all things Christmas. In the morning I volunteered at the Festival of Trees.  This was my first time participating; I enjoyed it so much that I hope to help out again.

Turns out I'm pretty great at running the register in the Sweet Shoppe.  Maybe next year I'll get promoted to fudge.  :)

I had a little time to look around after my shift ended.  The gingerbread displays are always a favorite.  This one from Buc-ees reminded me of our friend Melanie. My only regret from our road trip to San Antonio several years ago is that I didn't make a U-Turn when I missed the Buc-ees exit at one o'clock in the morning.

A Hobbit hole in honor of Callie.

This German Christmas market reminded of my Mom who is currently overseas exploring the markets with my Aunt Alison.

Who doesn't love a book come to life?

Diagon Alley was extremely impressive.

Finally, the Jade Palace.  I love Master Oogway's message: Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present. This resonates, especially considering how the Festival of Trees raises funds for Primary Children's.  Many of the displays are created in honor of a loved one.

Annika would have liked this tree, decorated with forest animal stuffies.

I think she also would like getting to know this girl who had heart surgery as a baby and is now thriving. Judging by the quilt and the prominently-displayed wolf-painting, this gal also loves all things lupine.

I thought this Family Tree quilt was stunning and took a picture to remember.  Maybe I can pick up a hobby after I retire?  (First I need to get fully hired.)

I hustled back from the Festival of Trees so that I could pick Annika up from school. On our way home, we stopped by the Christkindlmarkt at This is the Place. Charmant! I bribed Annika with chocolate in order to convince her to wear this darling red coat. I knew it would make for great pictures.

Plus, I think she was grateful for the warmth once it started to snow.

This photo is cute, but it would be even better with a Wheeler behind each letter.  Dear family, please know that we missed you!

I purchased this Santa Christmas countdown to bring a piece of the market to those who couldn't come.

Papa Kay, good news!  You no longer have to push a handcart for 934 miles to get here.

Surely that should have been enough Christmas excitement for the day, but that evening we drove out to Heber to ride the Polar Express with the Mascot Miracles Foundation.  They only have space to take a limited number of families on the Polar Express each year, so we were ecstatic when Annika's name popped up. It felt like the perfect time to enjoy the magic! Also, thanks to the Wilhoits for sharing their Christmas jammies for the night.

Our evening had been so busy that we hadn't had time for dinner. Fortunately I was able to bring a pretty tasty charcuterie spread.

The train hosted a surprising number of cute little elves.

Here's Annika trying to sign "I Love You." Close!

While we enjoyed all of the mascots, Annika asked to take a picture with this one because it spoke "wolf" to her. To me it says scary werewolf, but okay.

This mascot really liked Jason.

In case you are wondering, Annie brought a few creatures of her own. Her lion cub Taka got scolded for eating the tiny rubber duck they gave her. 

Singing her heart out. As the lyrics advised, "Let it Go."

Before we knew it, we had reached the North Pole. Santa was right outside waving!

Father Christmas even boarded our train and took time to visit with each child.  Annika loved it when he called her the joke spoiler because she kept anticipating his punch lines. 

And so, thanks to the generosity of the Heber Creper and Mascot Miracles, we left generously supplied with beautiful sleigh bells, hot chocolate mugs, books, festive glasses, and even a couple Build-a-Bears. Seems like Christmas came early!

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!