Remembering Grandpa John Wells

My grandfather John Wells passed away early Sunday morning at the age of 89 at his home in Sarasota, Florida.  Both of his daughters (my mom and her sister Alison) were there with him, as was his wife Elaine.  He is greatly missed here, but was ready to go.  When I saw him last May in Florida, he explained how it was tough to be last of the Mohicans, with his siblings Betty, Ed, and Virginia having passed before him, along with his son Jay.  I hope it was a happy reunion on the other side.

Memories of Grandpa: Sail tobacco.  Grandpa smoked a pipe for his entire life.  As a child, everyone worried about the smoke exacerbating my asthma, but truth to be told, I rather liked the smell of the big metal can of tobacco: earthy and sweet.  I will always remember him sitting quietly in the early mornings puffing away.

For much of his life, early morning was the only time Grandpa was quiet.  Loud, ambitious, and opinionated, he filled a room.  In the evenings he enjoyed a martini "on the rocks."  One martini and all was well.  Two martinis and his exuberance became a little excessive.  In later years Grandpa became quite withdrawn, and we all missed that martini flame.

One of my earliest memeories of Grandpa was sneaking into his room while he was visiting when I was a child, probably while we were living in Southern Illinois.  Callie and I found his brown toupee draped over the bed post and thought it was the funniest thing ever.  Grandpa lost his hair quite early, but it never stopped him from courting romance.  He eloped with my Grandmother Helen when only nineteen, then came back to Baldwin where he made his way as a successful businessman selling Apple products in the schools.  Back in the day the Apple IIC was pretty cutting edge technology!

Grandpa loved to do dance.  Here he is with his wife Helen and daughter Alison at my mother's wedding.   John and Helen were married for about thirty years.

And here he is kicking up his heels with Elaine.  

Elaine and Grandpa got married when Brooklyn was around 18 months old and stayed together until the end of his life.  In between, he had two other short marriages.  One was to Vicky, and another to a woman named Dusty.  It's kind of wicked of me, but I always used to think about Vicky as the evil temptress from Parent Trap.  I never met Dusty, but poor gal, we called her Busty instead.  Truth to be told, Callie and I preferred it when Grandpa was in a committed relationship.  If not, he liked to call and swap dating stories, which definitely felt awkward.

Other Grandpa memories: he loved the lake.  Growing up, his family would camp on Lake George in New York.  Later in life, he purchased a home on Lake St. Catherine in Vermont, near the cabins that his brother Ed owned.  He loved to take the family out for long boat rides, teach us how to water ski, and dump us into the water during crazy tubing trips.  He was welcoming and hospitable when we brought extra family and friends, such as the Vedeckis family from Lithuania.

A few more memories before I have to sign off: Grandpa liked to go big or go home.  Always eager to make a major impression, when I was fourteen years old, he asked me if I would like to drive his Mercedes Convertible--my first driving experience ever.  While naturally terrified, of course I said yes.  With absolutely no idea of how to control the vehicle, we set off on this empty, hilly road somewhere upstate.  I somehow thought that if you pushed on the gas with a consistent pressure, you would go a consistent speed.  You should have heard Grandpa holler as I slowed to 5 mph on every hill, then somehow sped up to 70 every time we headed down.  Finally he had enough and told me to pull over.  "Right here?"  "Yes, HERE!"  So I did.  Right into a ditch.  And broke the headlamp of the Mercedes, which stayed broken for a quite a long time since replacement parts were hard to come by.  I think Grandpa's idea backfired and made more of an impression than he bargained for!

Another stellar moment: when I was just about the same age, Grandpa picked me up from a Girl Scout Convention at the Edith Macy Center in upstate New York.  He was pretty late getting there, so I was just hanging out with my backpack when he arrived.  The first thing he said was, "You sure pack light."  I thought he was being sarcastic and had already found the two MASSIVE suitcases I came with.  By this point, mine were the only ones left on the porch.  While I may be a light packer now, I was notorious for having the biggest, heaviest bags as a teen.  In fact, I even won an award for the most luggage at a different conference with hundreds of people in attendance.  Back to the point, we'd driven over a hundred miles before we finally figured out that we'd left my belongings behind.  Fortunately, my Uncle Jay came to the rescue and picked up the bags on his way upstate.  In the meantime, I had to borrow one of my Grandpa's old T-shirts to wear as pajamas that evening.  Most teenage girls would be well-covered in a man's T-shirt, but Grandpa was not a large man.  That T-shirt didn't even cover my hiney, so I had to borrow shorts as well.  I remember feeling SO mortified, but Grandpa was patient and didn't give me too hard of a time.

While we lived far apart, he tried to make special memories when we were together.  Once he took me to see Miss Saigon on Broadway.  I think he was caught off guard by some of the mature content and worried that I'd seen a bit TOO much and would tattle to my parents.  Not to worry: I was enamored with the musical from then on.  He and my Aunt Alison also took Callie and I to Disneyworld when we were in late elementary/Junior high.  They had a conference, so we got to play for hours in the arcade while they were in meetings.  Truth to be told, I think we enjoyed the pinball machine even more than the theme parks!

Grandpa loved to cruise, and went on 51 during his lifetime.  He was generous and took the entire extended family a couple times as well, once to the Caribbean and once to Alaska.   This was the first time I got to experience either of these special places, and are likewise the only cruises I've ever been on.  Thanks for opening the world for so many of us, Grandpa.

After retirement, Grandpa spent a little bit of time in cooking school and learned how to make amazing chocolate chip cookies and a very rich, creamy pasta.  We always enjoyed meals with him during this phase of his life!  He also loved seafood and took me out for a fancy lobster dinner when I was four.  Apparently I ordered a whole lobster, ate it, and asked for more!  After that, my mother referred to lobster as ''Grandpa Food," to be reserved for special occasions when he was paying the bill.   😜 

In later years, Grandpa loved to read WWII history and golf with his friends.  He was even golfed a Hole-in-One!  In case you think that's just a Fish Story, I found this on the Interwebs, the source of all truth.  (The photo is not of Grandpa, but the lucky shot really did happen.)

I know that my interactions with Grandpa were only a small portion of his vibrant, complex life.  While he never pretended to be perfect. he was hard-working, resourceful, and generous.  Early in our marriage, he helped Jason and I get into a car and pay off student loans.  This support at a critical juncture made a difference in the trajectory of our lives, opening up opportunities for our young family.

I love you, Grandpa!  We miss you and hope that you are dancing on the other side.