This spring has brought a bumper-crop of babies to our neck of the woods. In honor of Mother's Day and all these new moms, I thought I'd share a favorite story about parenthood:
When Eli was less than two weeks old, we ventured out as a family to get a treat at the girls' all-time favorite joint--Micky D's. A McDonald's employee, standing outside for a coffee break, smiled at us as we made our way across the parking lot as a cute little family. Jason and I each had a girl by the hand, and we grinned at each other as we reflected on how much our family had grown. All of a sudden, our silly smiles transformed into shocked expressions of horror, and we both sprinted back to the car.
We felt extremely sheepish as we made our way past the same McDonald's employee again, this time with two girls and a baby carrier in hand. Not even two weeks old, and poor Eli had already been forgotten. So much for perfect parenting!
***
Mother's Day can be rough. I imagine it's roughest for those who wish to be Moms but, for one reason or another, aren't. It's rough, too, for those of us who are Moms, but who occasionally, for one reason or another, wish that we weren't. I dread the lengthy recollections about someone's perfect mother who kept a perfect house and baked perfect chocolate chip cookies. It's hard when motherhood is placed on such a high pedestal that my 4'11" self feels like it can barely see it, let alone hoist myself up to this lofty ideal.
At a recent story time, the librarians helped the kids make Mother's Day crafts while the moms perused the library's selections on motherhood. My choices? "Confessions of a Slacker Mom" and "I was a Really Good Mom Before I had Kids."
So, the last couple of days have not demonstrated much stellar parenting. I'm stressed out, worn out, and extremely low in patience. Years down the line, when my children have to give talks on Mother's Day, I hope they'll forgive and forget the past 48 hours.
But hey, at least I haven't left them (permanently) at McDonald's.
5 comments:
Well put, Kara. Is there a mother alive who truly thinks she's the perfect one? But I think there are a ton of us who would argue that our own mother is the perfect one. Guess it goes to show that love is blind.
(P.S. You are a great Mom, and I suspect one day those little ones of yours will be talking about their own perfect Mom)
"You cannot pay someone enough to do what a mother does for free."
-Russian proverb.
Milkweed, I too think you are a great Mom! Remember that one scriptural translation of the word "perfect" is "complete -- not flawless or infallible." (I prefer this translation.) So, when you are doing your very best, you are a complete (perfect) mother.
My mom was complete as well. She was (and is) love made real to me. Mom was the bank wherein I could safely deposit my hurts, dreams, and worries. Although she departed in 2003, I can still see her sweet smile in my minds eye. To this day, if I choose to be selfish, or do less than my best at something, I'm inwardly reminded of a kind but stern "side-ways glance of disapproval" from my Mom's eyes. Her loving glance means, "Remember who you are -- you know better, and can do better -- I believe in you."
Finally, I bet Brooklyn will write something like what follows about you when she becomes a third grader:
My mom lets me play on her laptop
Outstanding at board games
The love is in her heart
Hugs me a lot
Everlasting love
Really good at my homework
(Megan, 3d grader at Abbot Elem.)
mmmhhh ... not McDonalds ... a young man (his name is Samuel) had to give a talk today about mothers and he said that he was grateful that his mother had so much patience with him that she hadn't left him at the temple.
The Temple President and his wife were sitting behind him on the stand ... and they looked like that they were also very happy that Samuel was not left in their care :) We were all laughing :)
So if you feel like leaving your kids somewhere ... maybe the temple would be better than McD.
I love your stories, and I think we all feel that way at times. Sometimes I feel guilty that I do very little to teach Calvin his ABC's, numbers, etc! But I still think you're a great example to me! And I bet kids will remember the fun, unplanned times with Mom, and the things that she did that were unique to her, more than the reading lessons in Barnes and Noble, (I recently saw an uptight mom there. I'll admit, her daughter had stellar reading skills, but I bet they don't have as much fun as regular moms!)
I recently read an obituary about a mother who kept a perfectly clean house even when she was working full time. She also had a hot meal on the table all the time, did crafts, made chocolates, etc., etc. I wondered what she was really like! You express sentiments I think we all experience at times. You are a great mom and your children do and will view you as that, even if they act like they don't at times. (Watch out for the teen years!)
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